Saturday, July 4, 2009

SILENCE...they say

During the first 7 days of class, I go straight home right after our last subject, literally (after the “goodbye” of my teacher, my things are packed and I’d go directly out of the campus). I thought nobody from the class noticed me being like that leaving them in mid-air until ate Riz asked my mom if I have a problem. I also did a survey asking them “Did I change?”. They also started asking me if I am okay and I answer them with a “no”.

Well, every thing has a reason. The reasons of my unpredictable silence are:

#1: My orthopaedic condition: I experience twinging of my pigeon-breast for many days since classes began. I feel a sharp pain directly on the bone for about 2 minutes and soon will fade away. It will gradualy return in the next 4 hours or so and it will be much painful than before. As of now, I haven’t go to the doctor for check-up because of no time (lots of work to do). But 2 years ago, I had my my bone checked in an Orthopaedic Hospital in Manila and the doctors stated it’s normal. I even shared my condition unexpectedly to one of my teachers and she told me to be careful. I also broke up and cried at school one day because of the extreme pain. It’s still occuring up until now, being one of my most feared conditions I’m suffering.

#2: Paranoia that my classmates changed (from happy-go-lucky to serious ones). I felt that they don’t care for me anymore or even appreciate the things I’m doing for them. I just can’t explain what kind of feeling is this but until now, I’m still thinking about it. I am always thinking that they don’t treat me as their friend or an important element in our class. I feel that I’m not that important to them and they don’t want me to be with them. To the people who’ll read this, is that normal? What should I do? I’m confused with this kind of sentiment until now.

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